Fig. 1
Forza Motorsport 2

I mentioned way back in 2005 that I was smitten with Forza Motorsport. Well, two and a half years later, I have an Xbox 360 and its successor, Forza Motorsport 2. FM2 is just as much fun as its predecessor, with even more paint customization options and more physics and polygons and shit.

I have a couple of friends on my friends list who, like me, love the racing sims. One of them, we'll call him CBizkit, invited me to join the ARS Technica gaming forum racing league, and eager to test my skills, I joined up.

FM2 has a Performance Indicator system, whereby points are assigned for things like horsepower, weight, braking power, tire grip, and even shift time. For each race in this series, each driver takes a 2002 Lotus Esprit, which has a base PI of 695 and adds modifications to get as close to (or usually on) 850 as possible. You can add handling mods like tires and weight reduction or horsepower mods such as turbochargers and exhaust systems, or in many cases a combination of the two. Then you can adjust the car's transmission and suspension settings to suit the track and your driving style. This leads to quite a varied field of cars on most tracks and a great deal of challenge in finding the best setup for any given race.

Furthermore, being the complete and utter nerd I am, I can't resist creating the occasional writeup on the forum of my goings on, usually in the form of a press release/race report in the style found on my favorite Formula One news sites. Expect crossposts of those, such as the one you're about to read, to become a regular feature of the blog until the season is over.

Blob Motorsports marks its debut at Tuesday's ARS Group One race at Maple Valley

"When we started this season," says Blobemetheus, CEO of Blob Motorsports and driver of the currently 5th place #42 Lotus Esprit, "it was just me and a car." He adds with a characteristic grin, "Okay. A couple of cars."

"But, you know, I had to do everything. Line up sponsorships, pack up the gear, haul the cars, drive 'em, tune 'em, replace dozens of snapped carbon fiber wings, deal with suppliers. It was a nightmare. And you can see from our early results that it just wasn't working. I couldn't even line up the car at the season opener in Laguna Seca. That was a real heart breaker. We did all our preseason testing there, and I was feeling pretty good about the car and the track. I think I could have taken it to the big boys, but alas, we'll never know."

Blob, as he likes to be known, then went on to a string of DNFs, including the exhibition race at the Nurburgring and a race at Sebring that had been going well until he ran out of fuel just two laps from the finish.

"Well, I got into a wall early on and needed to pit. Of course, I had to get out of the car myself and bang out the body work. I climbed back in and turned in some decent laps. I thought I was good to go on fuel, but obviously I was wrong."

Blob hopes he's put all that behind him, now. While in Germany, he put in the last few phone calls required for the incorporation of Blob Motorsports.

Fig. 2
Blob Motorsports Decal on the #42 Lotus

"I've got a business manager and a mechanic and a logo now. Man, what a relief to be able to concentrate on what I'm best at: Getting that gorgeous hunk of metal around the circuit as fast as possible."

It seems as though the arrangement has payed dividends immediately. After the action packed and ultimately aborted first start at Maple Valley, he'd secured third place. "And even if Audiocee hadn't gone out, I think I would have caught him after the pit stops," says Blob. "I'd done a little bit of engine damage trying to keep it off the wall while sliding on the grass, but it's nothing we couldn't have cleaned up in the pits."

Blob Motorsports opted for an all-handling configuration at Maple Valley, sacrificing ultimate speed for control and consistency.

"After a few dozen practice laps, I had a real good rhythm going. I was flat for like 90% of the lap. Of course, with all that wing, I didn't get much above 140, but the car was solid and stable. But I knew I was in for a fight on Tuesday because I was still nearly a second off Uni's time. But I figured that if I could just run it clean, I might stay competitive."

Fig. 3
The grid at the restart

After the restart, clean was the operative word. While there's much speculation and justification around race control's decision to restart with a random starting order, Blobemetheus was happy to retain his second place grid spot.

"It was good. I was running a really tall first gear, so I was very happy I managed keep the revs up without smoking the clutch or the engine at the start. I was able to keep touch with Audiocee, who started first, and when he went wide, I slid past on the way up the hill. After that, it was clear sailing for four laps."

Fig. 4
Blobemetheus taking the lead

On the fifth, though, Blob made his first error and went wide, giving Unimetal and the #007 Lotus an easy pass for the race lead.

"I just missed my apex. I wish I could blame it on something other than driver error, but that's all it was. A momentary lapse of concentration can cost you a lot out there, especially when the other driver's got nine tenths per lap on you. I saw him coming and obviously let it rattle me."

Fig. 5
Final lead change: Unimetal on top

Blob nearly caught Unimetal at the top of the hill on the very next lap, but having to check up to avoid collision, that was the last he'd see of him all day.

"After that, I just fell into my rhythm and did my thing. I think I had one more minor off, but other than that, I was pretty good, even when the tires started to lose grip. Unfortunately, I needed Uni to make a mistake at that point and it seems like he never did. I've gotta give Unimetal and the 007 team their propers. They did their homework and drove a good race."

Still, after a very disappointing start to the season, the second step of the podium must have been a big boost for the young team.

"You bet! While I hope for bigger and better things as the season rolls on, my first podium is very exciting. Thanks go out to the fans and to the guys at Blob Motorsports. Oh, and to CBizkit, for giving up a lot of points and letting me lap him. Twice."

You know, I have not once written about last year's birthday present, even though it's kind of a big deal.

I learned to ride and subsequently bought a motorcycle. If you can get in on the Motorcycle Safety Foundation's Basic Rider Course in your area, I highly recommend it. I believe it was $25 here (partially state subsidized), and consisted of two (or three?) evenings of classroom instruction, followed by a weekend of riding on motorcycles they provide. As fuel prices continue to increase, it's worth looking into, and it's just plain fun. Plus, assuming you pass, you get a certificate and just go in and pick up your motorcycle endorsement; no state riding test required. And, some insurance companies will reduce your rate for having taken it.

I'm not much built for the sport bike, so I got a baby cruiser, a Kawasaki Vulcan 900. It was pretty much the sweet spot for my first bike, in my estimation. Enough power that it'd be fun to ride even after I gained confidence, but not so much that it would be hard to handle while learning. I've put 4500 miles on it in my first year, and it's a lot of fun and economical; 50 MPG (unless I'm riding with my speed demon brother).

So, for my impending 0x24th birthday, how could I possibly top that, you might ask?

Well, I couldn't really; not while avoiding bankruptcy. But, my fascination with guitars, always present, has been growing exponentially with the release of the Guitar Hero games. I'm pretty darned good at it. I'm not quite up to the level of those guys on YouTube who can five-star Bark at the Moon on expert with their backs to the screen, but I can pass it pretty routinely; the same with Free Bird.

I've had access to an acoustic for a while, and I piddle around with it occasionally, but what I want is to rock \m/. And for that, you need a solid-body electric. Yes, yes, blah, blah, "you should learn on an acoustic first, it will reinforce good habits that will serve you well in the future." Whatever. I've had trouble finding people to play my drums with, so I figure I'll just record my own damn drum tracks and lay guitar licks over the top. So myeh. Of course, I have to learn to play said licks first.

In pursuit of that dream, I decided I wanted an electric for my birthday. Since I'm just learning, and there's a chance that I may lose interest, or whatever, I didn't want to drop a truckload of money on a guitar/amp, so I was looking at the budget models. The two biggest names in guitars, Fender and Gibson have their budget brands, Squier and Epiphone, respectively. So, I was looking at the Squier Stratocasters and the Epiphone SGs and Les Pauls. I had, without touching any of them, pretty well decided I was going to get a Squier Strat in the $200-250 range. They had decent reviews on the Guitar Center site, so I felt I'd probably be happy, at least while I was learning.

Well, this weekend, finding ourselves with a Sunday afternoon free, we decided to head up to our local Guitar Center to check 'em out. Not planning to buy yet, just trying to nail down the budget. I was dismayed to see that they didn't have many of the Squier Strats out and available to sample. I played a couple of the bottom-of-the range examples, the "Affinity" series, and even without much in the way of experience, I didn't really like the feel of them. I can't say why, but I just wasn't impressed. The Epiphone Les Paul was better, but not really my style. I did manage to play What Can I Get Ya: The Stargate Cafe Theme Song in the store several times, though, which is fun. Particularly while other people are busting out thick blues riffs and metal numbers.

So we left and went to Sam Ash, which was nearby. They had a beautiful blue Fender Strat, used, with a custom bottom pickup, for $299. I played it for a few minutes and fell in love. It sounds great (to me, at least), it felt good, it was close to what I was planning to spend on a lesser guitar, so I was pretty much sold. Since it was used, and it might not be there in two weeks for my actual birthday, we decided to snatch it right then and there. Also picked up a used cheapo amp with some built in effects (which is the one I tried out the guitar with), cable, and stand. I took it home and played for a couple of hours until it was time to go record the Volcanicast.

I can't wait to get home and play it some more. Hopefully I'll pick it up near the same rate I did with the drums, in which case I'll be almost useful in a few months.

Have you ever seen a license plate that you at first glance assume to be a vanity plate, but then later realize, as you're trying to decipher it, that it was just random?

Oh, [nervous chuckle], me either. I'm just sayin'.

But seriously, it was 'DPS 3275'. I assumed it was an MMO gamer talking about his damage per second. I was crestfallen when I saw a 60ish guy driving. Now, that doesn't necessarily rule out my initial assumption, but it does cast some doubt on it. Furthermore, '[A-Z][A-Z][A-Z] [0-9][0-9][0-9][0-9]' is the current standard Ohio license plate scheme.

Oh, well.

Why didn't anyone tell me that Eureka had started its new season two weeks ago? At least I only missed one episode.

But that's not really why I'm updating. This is basically an uninspired recap of the summer so far.

Rehabilitation from my injury proceeds. I've had 7 weeks of physical therapy (one to go), and I can almost lift my body weight with the bad ankle. I can walk pretty well, but volleyball is still out. I had my last scheduled appointment with the orthopaedic specialist today and he said that it looked good, but that I should wait until 6 months from the repair before treating it like normal, so that's two more months.

I did, in fact, miss the concerts, which is teh sukc; but, I made it to the Coca-Cola 600 (and walked my ass off only a week after being unshackled from das boot). So, the spring wasn't a total loss.

When it rains, it pours. In addition to the medical bills piling up, the car needed brakes, tires, and regular maintenance in the past two months. Total: $1500. And Juliet has an infection in her gums, which is causing problems with her eye and threatens to spread to her internal organs. Since you can't simply clean a cat's teeth while she's awake, there's anaesthesia and all the affiliated preliminary crap. About: $400.

I's broke.

Well, oiling up the running gear did not help me on Wednesday. However, this morning I tried adjusting the cable tension on the rear derailleur and that seems to have fixed it. At least, I was able to ride hard today without the chain jumping on me.

Also, and I don't think I mentioned it before, I broke my helmet the day I got it. I didn't realize it right away, but I was using the strap-tightening-knob incorrectly and I caused something to break; after a while I couldn't tighten it at all that way. Fortunately, there are several sets of mounting holes for the strap, and so I was able use those to keep it tight. Then, the strap came apart from the knob, so I took the whole contraption apart to see if I could fix it. I had some success, but in the process I stripped the threads in the knob so that I couldn't tighten it properly and any adjustment would require more screwing. This morning, the knob popped off completely; the threads had been stripped that badly. I got some handy gaffer's tape, made a tiny roll out of it, sticky-side-out, pushed that down in there, and threaded the screw into that. This seems to work pretty well. For the time being, at least.

Drafting an 18-wheeler, while effective, should not be attempted if you don't have eye protection of some sort. I learned this the hard way this morning. I got all kinds of dust and grit thrown in my face. I wish my computer was working, though, 'cause I had to be doing better than 35 that way.

Also, today's ride did not involve the lowest front sprocket at all. Minimum gear was 2-2. It should have been 2-3, but I stepped down one too many at the end of the last hill at my turn-around point. I think I may have to invest in a new front crankset; the low sprocket is almost useless and the high sprocket isn't high enough. My legs were flailing as fast as they could while drafting that truck down the hill.

I knew this would happen.

See, I haven't posted in a month because I didn't want to get ahead of myself. I still need to do my vacation write-up and my new car post. Plus, I recently got Forza Motorsport for the XBox and it has consumed my soul. I should post about that.

But I guess I'll never get around to it, so here's the summary:

We went to Las Vegas for our fourteenth anniversary. We stayed with Di, Sara, Matt and Julie. They were wonderful hosts, but busy, so we didn't get to spend as much time with them as we'd have liked. I played in a Texas Hold'em tournament; lasted only two hands. We ate well, including the nigh-traditional anniversary dinner at the Voodoo Lounge Cafe atop the Rio which was followed with a viewing of Penn & Teller's show, which rocked, after which I got to share a few words with Mr. Gillette and grab a picture. We met up wtih my cousin, Janet, who was in town for a conference and had dinner in Paris. We rented a Sebring convertible and drove around the desert, including Red Rock, Valley of Fire, and Lake Meade. We took the dam tour at the Hoover Dam. We drove to Los Angeles on our last day to pay short visits to Kieu and Sheryl. On the way, the Sebring broke down. Fortunately, we were near a Hertz location and were back on our way (albeit in a Buick Century, yuck!) in about half an hour. And then we flew back. Flying blows, by the way, particularly if you're of exceptional size. I know everyone bitches about sitting next to the fleshy flier, but trust me, it's much worse to be him.

We bought a new(ish) car! After much trial and tribulation, we settled on a car we hadn't even considered. It's a 2002 BMW 325i sedan, black, sandalwood (tan) leatherette (fancy vinyl) interior, manual transmission. It had just over 40,000 miles when we picked it up. I'm paying $100/month less than I did on my Kia. Assuming it holds up for a few years, that's a pretty sweet deal. We'll see how it goes. If I can keep it in good shape, I should break even on the loan in 2.5 - 3 years, so I can trade up to the Z4!

Forza Motorsport owns my soul. I really didn't want to like this game too much. I'm quite the opposite of a Microsoft fanboy, and I'm a long-time Gran Turismo fan. Trouble is, this game rocks. It's not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. It's much more sim than arcade. You have to be very careful with the brakes and gas. The XBox live support is what does it. That and the car customization. So much fun.

We got the check from the loan company last Friday, one day too late. We'd hoped to go and see about buying the car that Thursday, when the dealers were open late. At our first opportunity since then, Monday the 4th of April, we went back to Toyota of Bedford. We waited a few minutes for the salesperson who'd helped us the first time around, got some keys, a dealer plate, handed over Renee's driver's license, and took it for another spin, just to be sure.

I'm not sure what happened between the first time I went out shopping and the last two weeks, but I wasn't able to find a good seating position in the Scion, either. The clearance of the wheel over my right leg isn't dangerous, but it isn't good, either, and if I don't sit just so, I bump my head on the ceiling. Maybe I just need to get used to leaning back one more notch than was comfortable.

By the time we got back, I was feeling much more ambivalent about the purchase than before the second drive. As if this wasn't bad enough, we found out that our salesperson had misplaced Renee's license. Now, we're supposed to be getting on a plane in two days and that's difficult to do without I.D. nowadays.

A frantic half-hour search by half the dealership staff and ourselves ensued. Eventually, Renee found it in the drawer that held the keys for their inventory after no fewer than 3 members of the dealership staff had looked there.

Despite the hassle (and expecting it to help with the negotiations), we decided to carry on anyway. None of the other cars we tested were any better in terms of my comfort and most of them were not as much fun to drive. So we went in to talk money.

Apparently, there's not much to talk about. He was unwilling to budge at all. The price listed is the price everyone pays. Period. He went so far as to say that Toyota audits the deals and penalizes dealers that break the rule. I can't think of anyway to verify this, myself. But considering that he was obviously losing the sale over a fairly paltry difference, it's feasible.

Naturally, they didn't have the color I want in stock. Most of the options are dealer-installed accessories, so that doesn't really matter. So, we left with the salesman planning to find other dealers in the area willing to swap and he was going to get prices on the accessories which can apparently be installed less expensively after the sale.

It's wait and see time, I guess. We definitely won't have a car until after the trip.

I gave up caffeine last December. It was hard, but it's been good for me, both in terms of my health and in helping me to find some discipline. I had a cup of coffee on Valentine's Day with dessert, but other than that I've been clean for three and a half months. Until last Saturday. I went to a LAN party at BigDawg's place up in Concord after having had to be up early to take cats to the vet. Mix in some daylight savings time and you've got me going home after a really, really long day. So, I grabbed a Code Red, knowing that I would have trouble staying awake for the drive and suspecting that the roads were terrible.

They were. Old Man Winter decided to throw one last storm at us. I was driving about 45 MPH down the I-271 express lanes, got the 4WD on, doing alright riding in someone's wheel ruts. I got wicked sleepy, so I cracked open the Code Red. While I've got the drink in my right hand, a gust of wind pushes my left wheels out of the rut and into the deeper snow. This causes the vehicle to yaw left. With one hand, I attempted to correct and in the process I overcorrect. Now I'm going right and it's too late to fix it. I slid sideways off the road and into the median where my tires finally find some resistance and threatened to tip the truck over. Fortunately, it didn't. It stopped and settled back down on all four wheels in a difficult position but otherwise unscathed.

Well, shit, said I. At least I've got four wheel drive, right? So I put it in 4 Low, and started to try to move the vehicle. I managed to go back and forth until I'd backed up about five feet, but it won't go any more. So, I made a brilliant decision. I'd just use that five feet to get up some speed and blast across the other side and into the local lanes. The ditch had other ideas. I made it about three feet farther than I'd been, but I then slid sideways into the swamp. No amount of rocking, digging out snow with my foot, or anything else short of external assistance was going to dislodge me now.

At least I've got AAA, right? So I called AAA and waited about 20 minutes on hold watching nervously as my cell battery drained. I've got no car charger. Well, I do now, I just didn't then. As I was on hold, a friendly Highland Hills police officer pulled up and takes my license. Now I'm thinking I'm going to get a ticket for failure to control or something. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. He just checked me out, set out some flares for me, made sure I had heat in the car and that help was on the way and then left to help the next hapless soul.

Eventually AAA did answer the phone, and they prepared me to wait for up to an hour and a half for a tow truck to winch me out of the ditch. Fortunately, it didn't take that long. I happened to be near one of the towing company's recent stops and I only waited about half an hour. They winched me out and the rest of the trip was fairly uneventful.

So what did I learn from this experience? No more cheating on the caffeine. :)

As it turns out, I can't actually fit in a Porsche Boxster as well as I'd thought. I'm not sure what was different between the '05 and '97 models I sat in at the Fred Baker Porsche-Audi and the '99 (with 27,000 miles) I found at Legendary Motorcars that I was hoping to buy. Perhaps I didn't put my feet on the pedals to simulate actual driving. Maybe the seats were different; they felt different to my memory, but I tried an '01 they had as well and it wasn't any better. It'd be impossible for me to drive this car for any length of time. I took it out for a test drive anyway, of course, but during the course of it, I realized that it simply wasn't to be.

It's unfortunate, too. It was a blast to drive. I'd done a lot of research, arranged financing, etc. I was ready to buy this car if it was in good shape and we could agree on a reasonable price.

Actually, it's probably better this way. I shouldn't be spending upwards of $25,000 on a used car, particularly one that's six years old, even if it is low mileage. And there were some mechanical quirks on the '99 that gave me pause. And maintaining a Porsche isn't cheap. Isn't justification wonderful?

Thus we're back to a car that I'll be settling for, rather than one that I want. There's nothing really wrong with the Scion tC. I was very impressed by it, actually, but I really, really miss my convertible. There's just something about driving with the top down that really lights up my spirit.

A lot of things have changed since those days, of course: New jobs, new responsibilities, wars and terrorism, financial recession, church and state merging, so on and so on. But it's a curious coincidence that I haven't really been as happy as when I could drop the top and go for a ride in the sunshine.